Early July: Unions

by Lucy S.

I never have time to write on this blog anymore. I am always working on winning a union for us now. I'm either writing for the website I started last April to help with our effort, or putting other people's posts up or - more often - emailing with people to answer their questions or get out new info or talking on the phone with people about this or meeting in person...  K (my tenured friend where I work who was my advisor on my final project for my master's there) has joked with me about all the unpaid labor I'm doing to try to earn more for my labor...

Somehow I went from emailing people one at a time in different departments asking if they'd meet me for coffee (last February and March) to us filing for our election in May and me receiving my ballot in the mail yesterday. I've never been the leader of anything before -- well, for a while I was the leader of our local homeschool group, but that was pretty minor -- not like this.  I try not to think about some aspects of that too much because I don't want to rev up my anxieties and/or let my ego get the best of me.  Mostly I try to just swim through the continual waves, responding to whatever newest communication the senior administration sends out to try to defeat our unionization efforts, answering people's questions, doing what needs to be done.  I'm always saying to one of my fellow adjuncts and organizers, "It's such an amazing experience! I've never experienced anything like this!"  I've used words like solidarity and I hopefully meant them, but this is the solidarity of really being "all in this together."  We feel bound to each other.  Our lives are permanently changed by this.

I don't know how I've managed to write posts that so many people read, including the senior administration of our university (they've referred to them when I've gone to their meetings and read their posts) - I don't know how I've done that without being overwhelmed by anxiety, as I often have been in the past. But I don't have much TIME to worry about it all.  There's always another thing to do. And how did I go on our local radio show and speak without forgetting how to speak clearly and to the point? But I got on there and found that I was more concerned with what I wanted to say than with thinking about my delivery.

The end of the semester was rough for various reasons, but I feel strong now and somehow, in the midst of all this continual transformation, I feel grounded. I'm working on what I want to be working on.

Other big changes loom this summer. My former partner is moving out at long last on August 8. He found an apartment he likes not too far from here. It even has an outdoor pool, and he said if we'd like to go over during the warm months of the year, we can (not just the kids, but even me with them). The spring was rough - after living together for so long separated, we'd both just reached a point where we could hardly stand it. Who knows why? Maybe it just started to feel as if nothing would ever change in that regard. But now this huge change is almost upon us.  And I think we'll end up as family - as we are - people who couldn't work well as partners but are linked through our lived years together and our kids. I think we'll figure out how to be friends. And maybe we needed the roughness of spring to finally propel us forward into this change.

Not to say I don't get scared about all these things at times. Now and then I think: what if the administration somehow finds a way to get rid of me? What if I can't manage all that I will have to manage in the next year? What if I can't find another class for spring? (We're only allowed to teach one in the spring where I am so I have to line up more.) What if in all this I say something really stupid or mean or full of myself? What if I already have and I don't even realize it?  Meanwhile, I try to think hard (but not so hard that it paralyzes me), keep trying, and say I'm sorry when I see that I was wrong about something. I'm always trying to gain more insight.

And I need to start focusing again on learning to be a better teacher for next year. I need to read more about ways to teach literature and ways to teach writing, and keep adjusting my syllabus. I need to figure out what I'm going to propose for next spring's class because I don't think I want to do the one I did last spring, so that means developing a new course.

And I need to start applying for work for spring at other nearby colleges. I wonder if my organizing will make them not want to hire me.  But - foolishly maybe - I mostly think I'll be fine.

And right now, it's early July. My parents arrive soon for their summer visit. The occasional hummingbird feeds on the blooming zinnias, and we're picking mulberries, raspberries, sugar snap peas, cilantro, and lettuce. Tomatoes are so slow this year with it being a cool late spring and early summer, but the garlic cloves we threw in when we planted them are keeping them healthy so far, I think. Monarch butterfly larvae rely in part on this milkweed growing here and there in the yard and bumblebees love the purple salvia spikes. I'm going to mark my "X" in the yes box and send it back to vote for the union. Life feels good, and so much seems possible in our unions.